Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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