I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
