Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
