Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize