too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize