just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
