The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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