The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize