Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
