I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize