And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
