Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
