I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
