Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
