why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize