why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
