Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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