....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize