I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
