Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just want nice things and good sex
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
