Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
