Define "chronic" masturbator.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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