He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
