stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
