well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
