Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
