I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
