Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
