hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
