Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
