your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
