singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
