I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
