y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
