but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I woke up under a house in Key West
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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