are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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