every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i dont even know how to be here
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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