i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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