1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
