You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
