its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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