Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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