Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
