I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
