If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
