I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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