Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Be still, my beating vagina.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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