Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
time to smoke my breakfast
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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