like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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