i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
