Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Non-Jews are for practice
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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