i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
