Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize