i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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