Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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