also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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