the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just pee around me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
