I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
