have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I need to calm my uterus...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
