Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
