No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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