Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
