I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
