So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
